


Hole In The Ground

by takenbyphun



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Depression, M/M, Nightmares, Suicide, funerals are always sad asf
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-21
Updated: 2016-08-21
Packaged: 2018-08-10 06:30:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,321
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7833919
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/takenbyphun/pseuds/takenbyphun
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Funerals are never a good place to pick a fight, so Tyler stayed quiet.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hole In The Ground

The funeral was in the spring. It was held in a breath-taking open field where the sun shine on the grass reflecting off the rain drops. The air was thick with fog in the distance but the flowers still managed to blossom and the colours still stood out. It was a beautiful deep red that signified love and passion, well that’s what he said at least. 

He looked the most beautiful. I felt blessed sat next to him knowing that the man in the handsome grey suit was mine. We were at a funeral together for a close friend of his, he had been quiet all day because his friend meant the world to him. They’d known each other for what feels like forever. He was nervous to come here because it would be the first time he saw their family before he died. It was a tragic death. Poor soul.

Back at his house he was telling me how nervous he was, his palms sweating and struggling to do his tie from how his hands were shaking. We shared a few tears before we left and I lifted his head high telling him I’m proud of him for staying so strong throughout his friend’s death. He hasn’t said anything during the car journey here, his eyes were just focused on the road while he thought about everything.

That’s the thing about Josh is that you always know when he’s thinking. He has the deepest stare, his lips are locked into a tight line while his tongue traces his lips sometimes just poking out to help his focus on his thoughts and whatever he’s doing. It impresses me sometimes how he doesn’t crash. 

“Why don’t you put on some music babe?” I looked over at him but there was no answer. 

Normally music would help him take his mind off things but I guess it was too much of a special day to not think about it. That’s the thing about funerals is that it lets you be the sad person you are deep inside, it’s like an excuse to cry even though sometimes you’re not really crying for the person but crying for the pain you feel in your head from the overcrowding thoughts. That’s what my miserable little mind thinks at least.

When we were sitting down at the funeral I held my hand out so he could hold my hand in case he wanted some support. No answer, again. He didn’t even blink. 

The ceremony started and I decided to sit there quietly. Picking a fight at a funeral wouldn’t be the best idea. It broke me to see the boy I love wrapped in so much sadness, his demons sitting on his shoulder whispering malicious thoughts while the darkness tugs at his brain.

“Joshua Dun will now say a few words.” The priest called up Josh, I smiled at Josh and he just looked at me with glazed eyes. He said he didn’t need a speech prepared because he was going to say how he felt.

He stood up straight at the podium trying to stay brave. “Thank you all for coming. It means a lot that everyone close has come along to support the family. I was asked to make a speech even though my anxiety and stage fright was a huge barrier. This event means a chance to let out the emotions I’ve been keeping in since the death.”

Everyone around was already tearing up. I started to get a little misty-eyed myself. 

“Today we don’t only mourn but we celebrate life and death, it’s simply the pattern of the human race no matter how brutal or painless it may be. However, this death was a fairly tragic one which will never be forgotten.” He took a deep breath before he carried on. “He was so special to me.” Already his eyed started to fill with tears as his voice cracked. “I’ve never met a man so dear to my heart. I’m so sorry he had to leave this disgusting world this way.” He sniffed and closed his eyes letting the tears freely fall down his red cheeks.  
I could hear in the background a few sniffles and people blowing their nose. 

“I loved him, so much.” He leaned onto the podium. “I wish he was here to see how many people really did care for him. He was fighting for too long against his demons. I wish I could’ve done more to help his so-called heavy dirty soul.” There was a moment of silence where he tried to smile at his dumb pun but he broke down onto the podium right there and then.

I wanted to jump up and go to him, I couldn’t move. I tried to move my feet but it’s like they were stuck to the ground, what was going on?

“Tyler I miss you.” He continued to sob.

"I’m right here, Josh. Can you hear me? Josh!"

“He had to take his life he said, he was in too much pain. He was defeated.”

Everything started to turn dark, my vision focused on the little things. I looked down at the booklet in front of me in my hand.

_‘Tyler Robert Joseph 1988-2016. Son, brother, boyfriend, hero. |-/’ ___

__“I’m so sorry Kelly and Chris. He had such a good heart and you raised an amazing man.”_ _

__I looked over at the front row and there was my whole family, sobbing into each other’s arms. I never noticed them._ _

__“NO! I’m right here Josh. See? I’m alive.” I tried to shout but no one could hear me. My voice was an echo in the abyss._ _

__Storming around the field I stood in front of my parents._ _

__“Mom please, Dad. I’m here.” I felt my cheeks starting to get wet from all the tears pouring out my eyes._ _

__I looked over at Josh who was still making his speech, wet eyes and shaky hands._ _

__Everything came crashing down when I saw the lifeless body in the coffin with the same suit as me. Suddenly I couldn’t breathe, tears were erratically falling from my eyes making my vision blurry and I almost threw up._ _

__“I love you Tyler, so much.”_ _

__I stood up to see Josh holding my lifeless hand while I laid there in the coffin with my eyes closed and not moving. I couldn’t be dead._ _

__“Josh, please.” I stood in front of him, hoping he would see me._ _

__He looked at me straight in the eyes. Could he see me?_ _

__“Please baby. I love you too.” I tried to touch his face but my hand went straight through like there was nothing there._ _

__“I’m here.” Josh said, his voice more distant and echoed._ _

__“What?”_ _

__“Everything’s going to be fine. Wake up. Tyler.”_ _

__I shot up instantly with a sharp breath in. I was covered in sweat and my eyes were wet. Looking around fanatically I saw my bedroom, our bedroom. In front of me was Josh looking at me with worried eyes._ _

__“Tyler are you okay? You scared me.”_ _

__I didn’t say anything but after seeing Josh look at me with his hypnotizing eyes and touch my hand I burst into tears hugging the love of my life._ _

__“Shhhh.” Josh rubbed my back and I melted under his touch feeling safe again. “It was just a nightmare.”_ _

__Pulling away from the hug he wiped my teary eyes. I smiled holding his hand as it rested on my cheek._ _

__“I love you Joshua Dun. Thank you for giving me a purpose to stay alive in this world.”_ _

__He gave me a warm smile before he laid down again beside me. “I love you too Ty, c’mon. Go back to sleep.” He opened his arms._ _

__Laying down covering myself in the blankets as I felt his warm arms around me pulling me into his chest._ _

__I was home and I was alive._ _

**Author's Note:**

> i'm sorry if there was tears. i got bored.
> 
> tweet me @takenbyphun


End file.
